When properly applied, the many formulas of physical chemistry yield a wealth of information about the effects of pressure on gases, the interactions of proteins and DNA, the heat capacities of solids and liquids, and other phenomena. However, the existing theories cannot be applied to the interactions of human beings and their environment, including other human beings. A new formula describing such human interactions is presented herein. Considerable contemplation has yielded the following basic relationship, which shall henceforth be designated the Wu formula:
where the amount of change in the happiness of the universe (Huniv) is equal to the change in the happiness of the individual (Hind) plus the change in the happiness of his or her surroundings (Hsurr). Further consideration yields an expanded definition of the change in Hsurr:
where the change in the happiness of the surroundings can be further specified to include the change in happiness of other people in the same room or immediate area (Hpeople) plus any adverse or positive effects on the global environment (Henvir) plus the sin quotient (Qsin) plus the forgiveness factor (sigma F) and X.
The sin quotient Qsin is the negative of the absolute value of the difference betwee the will of God (WGod) and the will of the individual (Wind). Qsin is important because it is directly proportional to D, where D represents despair, death, destruction, separation from God, and assorted bits of general unpleasantness that descend upon an individual as a consequence of sin.
The forgiveness factor is the sum total of the forgiveness factors FGod and Fpeople (which represent, respectively, God and other people forgiving the individual), plus F ' people, which represents the individual forgiving other people, and F ' ' ind, which represents the individual forgiving himself or herself. Since God cannot by definition sin (WGod = WGod), God needs no forgiveness, so F ' God = F ' ' God = 0. The forgiveness factor is usually greater in magnitude than, and opposite in sign to, Qsin, and is available on request from the manufacturer, God.
The last term, X, is useful to account for all the unexpected results of any action we may take since, according to Bell's theorem, everything is connected to everything else. The derivative of X with respect to lack of information about the other terms that comprise the change in Hsurr is very large and negative.
Hence the Wu formula states that many actions by an individual or humanity may tend to increase or decrease the happiness of the individual and the universe in a big way (the change in Hsurr approaches infinity or negative infinity, your choice).
Text revised Sept., 1998. Originally published in The Journal of Irreproducible Results under the title "A New Formula to Describe the Human Condition", 1990, vol. 35, no. 5 (Sept./Oct.), p. 6.
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